Parenting: Jordan vs. Denmark

I have noticed some interesting differences between how parents raise their children in Jordan and in Denmark. I have thought about it for a long time – but haven’t found the time to blog about it. Of course this is nothing but some personal observations and therefore not a generalization (I know people raise there children in many different ways – but still – there are some interesting overall differences).

The overall pattern seems to be two opposite ways of parenting.

In Denmark parents will very early on start making restrictions for their children and demand proper behavior: sit up straight, eat properly at the table, don’t mess with your food, too much sweets and candy is not good for you, they will not pick them up all the time when they cry and so on. In a sense try to teach them the realities of life at an early stage – that you can’t always get what you want, when you want it and things like that.

But then, as the children grow up – the parents will loosen the ties. As they get older, they become more mature and hopefully responsible and capable of making their own choices. They will get more freedom and opportunities to choose their own way. The children will seperate themselves from their parents in order to pursue their own dreams and goals in life and the parents will slowly let them go – to stand on their own two feet.

I guess you can visualize it something like this:

And then in Jordan….

In Jordan my experience has been quite opposite. Small children are allowed to do almost everything – and when you ask why the answer is: “He is so young/little, he doesn’t know any better” or ”He is so cute – how can you say no to him?”. And a friend of mine had her nieces visiting in her house and they just threw food on the floor constantly, and she couldn’t do anything about it, because their parents didn’t mind – so she just ran after them and picked up food…

So it seems that in Jordan the children are often pampered and a bit spoiled when they are young – and they are loved and cared for in every way.

And then it changes when the children get older. When they get older, the harsh realities of life hits them. The parents strengthen the ties, the rules becomes stricter and the children get more responsibilities and duties in the house. And this situation persists, for many at least, until they get married. Most young men and women live at home until they get married and can enter a new house and family, and until that day the parents will continue to have a big say in their lives and in what choices they make for themselves.

The Jordanian pattern could then maybe look like this:

I’m not saying that either one is better than the other – but I just find the differences mind tricking.

What can be the reason behind such differences?