Top #50 why it rocks living in Jordan

So I caught the new trend – everybody is making their Top 50 over Jordan these days : Kinzi, Nas, Farah, Ali, Roba and many many more.

And then there is Qwaider’s anti-social Top 50 – but that is another case…

So I am joining in – I thought I could use a breath of fresh air and a little reminder of why I like living in Jordan so much

Some of the points have been mentioned already, but good to know that we all enjoy some of the same things about this lovely country.

Here it goes….

1. My wonderful friends in Jordan
2. Humus, falafel and peoplewatching at Hashem’s
3. Walking up and down the staircases in Jabal Amman
4. Shawarma Reem
5. Mansaf
6. Always being greated with “Ahlan w Sahlan” wherever you go
7. Books@cafe
8. That “inshallah” is a perfectly meaningful answer for every question
9. Knafa na3meh
10. Zeinab’s fingers
11. The beautiful wadis perfect for hiking
12. Sunset at the Dead Sea Panorama
13. Real Chinese food at the Chinese restaurant behind Books@
14. That everybody breaks out in dance whenever music is turned on
15. Rainbow Street
16. Wild Jordan
17. The peace and adventure you find in Wadi Rum
18. Wadi Mujib
19. The eastern desert – the castles and the people there
20. That you can choose how Arabic/Western you want your day to be – everything is within reach in Amman.
21. Random Arabic conversations with taxi drivers – they provide excellent practice
22. Peoples’ appreciation of foreigners trying to learn Arabic
23. Queen Rania
24. The interesting and developing art scene in Amman
25. Fresh bread for no money
26. The corn guy with his cart on the street
27. Las Tapas
28. Cruising around for no particular reason
29. That people are so easy to meet
30. That no matter how hard things get, and even though people complain about everything – people will always look on the bright side
31. How rain can always be a surprise – and how the streets are flooded after 5 minutes
32. That Jerusalem, Damascus and Beirut is within reach for a long weekend trip.
33. Going biking in the beautiful north or the Jordan Valley
34. That even people who have nothing are so kind and generous
35. The bond that people have with their families
36. Swimming and tanning in Aqaba
37. The wonderful weather
38. Ras al Abed
39. Fridays at Jara Souk
40. That everything can be delivered in Jordan – perfect for lazy days.
41. The gas truck melody
42. Dabka
43. That Jordanian time is a concept that everybody adheres to.
44. Hamoudeh’s DVD’s
45. Mashawi
46. Playing Frisbee in Hussein Park
47. Horseback riding on the farms off Airport Road
48. Standing at the top of the monastary at Petra and looking out on the land
49. Buying coffee from Starbucks and then driving to a lookout to enjoy it there
50. Muz bi-l-halib

Peace – over and out.

The virgin post

Virginity – there are so many contradictions and so much weirdness connected to this word.

In Jordan you are not allowed to have sex before you get married, and that goes for both Muslims and Christians as far as I know. You should save yourself for the one person you will spend the rest of your life with and have your family with. That is actually something I can relate to; it can actually be interpreted as something romantic. There is only one person out there for you.

But when it becomes something forced, and something that only applies to some, and something that makes people scared, then I do not like it anymore.

In Jordan virginity is very much enforced. But for some absurd reason the rule only applies to girls in many cases. I know there are unmarried virgin men out there, but I have seen too many of the opposite cases to ignore the trend. For many people, it is perfectly acceptable for men to have girlfriends and have sexual experiences before he gets married, but for a girl it is usually totally unacceptable.

I know Jordanian girls who are having sex and who are not married. They believe in their own freedom and that they should decide when it comes to their own bodies. But very few are including their families in their little secret. They live their sexual lives in the dark. They know it would never be accepted. And some are so scared that their future husbands will find out that they go through sleazy operations to build a new hymen. So the virginity is fake – we are just keeping up the appearances for the sake of appearances.

And what if a girl gets in trouble? What if she gets a sexually transmitted disease or what if she gets pregnant? She has nobody to talk to, no one to go to, and no one to tell. She has to deal with it all alone.

Girls are scared.

And then there are the girls who stop a step before. They are young and their bodies are longing for something. So they engage in secret affairs where they do everything imaginable except for actual vaginal sex. And I mean EVERYTHING – even things that most sexually active women do not want to do. But they do not break their hymen, so technically they are in the clear – they have not had sex and therefore done nothing wrong. But I think there is something very wrong with that. If the idea is to be pure when you enter marriage, then this is definitely not the way – hymen or no hymen. It is still fake.  

And then there are the girls who have no intention of having sex before marriage. They want what tradition tells them, and they are okay with that. But still they are worried and sometimes scared. One of my Jordanian friends once asked me about tampons. She asked me if I used them and I said “yes, they are great and you feel cleaner and nicer”. She wanted to use them because she had heard good things about them – but she did not dare. She had heard that the tampon could break her hymen by accident, and she could not risk that, because her family would never understand and never forgive her. I was shocked. Come on – it is a tampon. I know that a tampon accidentally can break the hymen, but so can doing sports or bending in a bad way.

So there are Jordanian women out there, who are having sex, or doing something so close that the difference can be hard to spot – and how do we deal with that?

More restrictions or changing traditions?

Maybe we should just invent the cream that Raed Ibrahim promoted in his art exhibition last year in Jordan about the social problems we face here: The Virginfinity!

“A Touch of Cream Wipes Away the Shame”

No sympathy for personal issues

Life in Jordan can be hard – very hard. Unemployment is sky high, salaries are low and prices are rising. The health care system is far from well functioning, so many people cannot afford to get sick. And the list goes on and on -so people have plenty of things to worry about here.

So Jordanians understand hard times. If you are sick, if you lost your job, if you are in debt or just out of money – people will understand. People will feel for you and try their best to help you out of whatever situation you are finding yourself in.

But the situation is quite different if you are having a hard time personally.

I am from Denmark. I grew up in a welfare society not missing any material goods and never had to worry about money or food on the table. Even if I lost my job, the state would provide for me until I found one. Healthcare and education is free – paid by taxes – so even if you come from a simple background, you have the same opportunities as everyone else. Basically – I never had to worry about the things that preoccupy the minds of many people in Jordan. But then I think and worry about other things. I think a lot about life and the purpose of it. I think about what I should do with my life, where I should be, who I should be and what to choose from the millions of options which are out there. I get sad and I get lonely, I feel lost and I cry. And sometimes I feel so lost that I lose all hope – and hopelessness is one of the worst feelings in this world.

But you cannot feel that way in Jordan. You cannot be sad and cry over things like that.

Are you sick?

Don’t you have any money?

Did you lose your job?

……… No?

You just feel lonely?

Well call somebody and go out!

You feel lost?

Well figure things out!

You don’t know if you should be in Jordan or Denmark?

Well – make a choice!

There is no sympathy for whining about personal concerns like the ones mentioned. And I get it. If you worry about providing for your family and getting by in life, then loneliness and other personal problems must be the most ridiculous and silly problem in the world. Why would anybody let something like that get to them?

And I really wish that it didn’t – but it does. And it hurts so much feeling that nobody understands you. I don’t think it is because people here do not want to, I think it is simply that they cannot relate to it – it just makes no sense.

So what do you if you do not feel you have anybody to call when you are sad?

It is just for safety…

So Jordanians are really hospitable – in general very nice and welcoming people. Salam aleykum and ahlan wa sahlan are always used and accompanied by gentle smiles and it takes friends (and sometimes even strangers) a few minutes to great each other because they have to ask to the other person’s health, family and life in general in 10 different ways.

So nice right? But at the same time there is apparently a hidden rage…

I was sitting in my friend’s car the other day and sticking out next to the driver’s seat I saw something and I pulled out a giant stick (stick doesn’t even explain it – it was a small tree!) wrapped in black tape and pierced with small pins. I was like “What the h*** is this for?” and my friend answered “It is just for safety”.

…What?

“Yeah, if somebody on the street harasses you, then you have protection or something to fight back with”. In my mind it is just crazy thinking. Why would people just randomly start harassing other people on the streets in their cars, and harass them enough for them to stop their cars, get out and start a fight? I don’t get it. Everybody knows everybody in Jordan anyways, so why even start a fight? The guy in the other car is probably related to you somehow anyways…

But even if he is not – then why?
Crazy people can be found everywhere, and of course you never know what might happen – and yes, you might get attacked and end up needing the big stick. But how come the possibility of that happening is so big, that people actually have those sticks lying in their cars?

Another friend of mine has a big baseball bat lying in his car – and both him and the other one have used their sticks on more than one occasion. I get that they have it for protection – but what beats me is why it is necessary…?

16:9 Widescreen – A movie jungle in Swefiyyeh

Sometimes you find new interesting places in Amman that you didn’t knew existed. I found a place like that in Swefiyyeh recently. 

It is a movie rental place called 16:9 Widescreen. Amman has a billion movie places, where you can get the latest pirate copies, which people love – but this place has only original movies, and focuses on giving you good quality movie experiences and a great variety. Movie rental places are very popular all over the world, but as far as I know this is the only one of its kind in Jordan.

The place is developed and run by 3 Jordanian brothers. They have a company together – Razor Blade – where they develop and promote business ideas in Jordan. They each have their different skills and made the movie place as an example of a new business idea in Jordan. They researched the market and found that there is a niche market for this kind of business. People will probably never stop buying the pirate copies down town – but hopefully there will also be room for this in Jordan.

So the brothers started by searching for movies online, read reviews, saw trailers and watched movies….and more movies and more movies… They make a great effort having a wide selection of films from all over the world. So they have a lot of foreign films from Europe, Asia, and Africa along with Arabic and American films. They have all the newest blockbusters, but their real passion is the small films, the foreign ones and the old classics.

And one of the brothers, Sami, told me that he and his brothers have watched every single film they have in the shop (and that is a lot if I might add) – so if you need any suggestions or recommendations for your next movie night – they will be more than able J

So try this place next time you are looking for some movie entertainment – hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised. Renting one film is around 1JD (depending on how much credit you buy) – and the place is located opposite the entrance to Wakalat Street in Swefiyyeh – below ground level next to the Guy Laroche boutique.

Jordanian hospitality but not Danish?

So Jordanians are known for their hospitality. Every guidebook to the country states that you shouldn’t be surprised if your guide, taxi driver or random person you meet on the street or in the bus invites you to their house, to a wedding or something like that. And that is true – I have experienced it several times and heard many other people experience the same. Ahlan wa sahlan goes a long way.

And this is because Jordanians love gatherings. They love to meet with their families, their friends, neighbors and so on. So they invite people to their houses, they go visit people at their houses, and they go out to coffee houses, restaurants, cafes and shisha places. So most social activities in Jordan are in groups – actually it can be hard to get a moment alone with a friend here.

So my humble question is – why is it different when I do it?

I love to have guests visiting my house. I love to invite friends over for dinner, hanging out, watching movies and sometimes for a party. Love it. But for some reason it is not appreciated – at least not by my neighbors. It is not because we make a lot of noise – because we don’t. But they see a lot of people coming and leaving the apartment. Jordanians and non-Jordanians, men and women – and they get suspicious. I don’t know what they think? Do they think I run a brothel? Or maybe some other kind of illegal business – selling drugs maybe? Or why is it suspicious to love company and good friends?

I don’t understand.

Happy New Year and Happy Haret Jdoudna

On the first day of the new year I went out with my man and some friends to have breakfast. We were just supposed to go out in Amman – discussing whether we wanted to go to Zaatar w Zeit, Crumz or Bakehouse. But none of them sounded interesting at the time – so the spontaneous idea of going to Madaba came up.

So off we went, and I was pretty excited since I hadn’t been to Madaba in over a year. The sun was shining, 18 lovely degrees and we were singing along to the radio all the way to Madaba.

According to the guys we had to go to Haret Jdoudna and have breakfast there (which turned in to lunch because we were really late). I had heard about the place, but never been there – so I got even more excited. I’m sure most Jordanians know the place – but it was a great discovery for me.

An old charming townhouse turned in to a restaurant and crafts shop. Just wonderful. Different seating areas, up and down, small terraces and a little courtyard, where they have seating in the summer.

From the menu I could read that Haret Jdoudna means Our Ancestors Neighborhood – and on the walls hang old photos from the 1940’s ore before together with old kitchen utensils, rugs and other decorations. And the food was of course delicious – mmmmm – the best from the Arabic kitchen (besides mansaf – hehe). Mushrooms with spinach and cheese, kofta, mashawi, humus, rocca salad, tabouleh and chicken and potato casserole.

A great afternoon – and a great start to a new year – with sunshine, good friends and good food. Happy New Year.

A late Merry Christmas

So I have been gone for a while. Been so busy I haven’t even realized how long it has been.

Even got a mail notice from Jaraad checking up on me to see if I was okey :-) – so I guess that was a wakeup call.

December has been busy. December usually is – but this year it was not because of crazy Christmas stress, gift hunting, frustrated looks on my bank account, Christmas parties and family gatherings. Because there has been almost none of that – for better and for worse. December in Jordan is definitely different from December in Denmark.

First of all the weather is too nice (never thought I would utter those words – but the 20 degrees and sunshine doesn’t really feel like Christmas) and then there are almost no Christmas decorations or celebrations anywhere. In Denmark you almost suffocate in it – malls will have their decorations and Christmas music up and running by the end of October which means that you are pretty sick of it all come Christmas Eve. So too much of anything is not good – but I guess too little can also have its down sides.

And then of course no Christmas parties (or actually I went to one held by some of my Danish friends in Amman – fellow countrymen stick together come holiday time I guess) or family gatherings (for obvious reasons – which can make you a little homesick). 

And then the hole “going bankrupt” because you have to buy gifts for every family member and friend is out of the picture – which is actually really relieving. I really don’t like all those “have to buy presents” for remote family members that I don’t know that well and have no idea what to give. I like buying presents – don’t get me wrong – I actually love it (and love receiving them as well of course). I love nothing more than to surprise somebody with a present that I picked out just for them, because I wanted them to have it. But buying presents just for the sake of it – that makes no sense. So not having to do that – is really wonderful. And also – I think Christmas has developed in to being too much about the presents. Sure, giving and getting presents is lovely, but I think Christmas should rather be about spending time with people you love and care for, sharing good food and good times and not about greediness and “who got the most presents or the most expensive present”.

So I spent my Christmas in Jordan. We had Christmas Eve dinner at my place. We were only supposed to be 6-7 people for a small dinner, my best and closest friends – but as it happens a lot in Jordan, things has a tendency to change in the last minute – so I ended up cooking dinner for 19 people.

But it was great – I seated 19 people on 17 chairs and made stuffed turkey, mashed, white and sugared potatoes, green beans, gravy, salads and a special Danish dessert that we only eat for Christmas. Stood in the kitchen all day, but I was worth it.

So a good Christmas after all – though you can’t help being a little home sick, even if you don’t know what you are longing for. And you can’t help becoming a little thoughtful. The end of the year is approaching – a new beginning – I wonder (and worry) what it will bring.

The Imperfect Enjoyment

I have had this book lying on my bedside table for the past couple of months, providing me with some much needed, albeit infrequent, distraction from my thesis writing. The book is called The Imperfect Enjoyment and is a memoir written by Dewan Gibson, an American novelist.

I don’t know where to start with this book. The language is so inappropriate and the view on women at times so demeaning, that I have no idea why I find the book so good. I am pretty sure that the book will not make it to the Middle East because of its interesting vocabulary and then of course the forbidden love story between the writer and a young exchange student from Bahrain. But you never know – it might. The book is really funny, sometimes in a very boyish way, but still, but it also contains serious matters and perspectives for interesting discussions.

By boyish I mean boyish. This is definitely a book written by a guy, and it is so honest that it sometimes makes your toes crumble: “(…) this motel in the stronghold of conservatism offers free access to the Playboy channel, but I’m just too tired to watch moaning blondes with landing-strip pubic hair”, and sometimes it even makes your stomach turn like when he describes his nightly adventure with a girl who all of a sudden gets a very bad stomach and floods his toilet with s***…

The subtitle of the book is a bachelor’s memoir, and indeed it is, or maybe a more correct title would have been the story of my women? The book tells the story from the author’s first kiss in the seventh grade with a neighborhood girl with a fancy Jheri curl, through his first sexual experience with a plane Jane with a recurring rash on her upper lip, to his first relationship with the curvy Puerto Rican Rocio, to his first one night stand and then on to Haniyah.

Haniyah is an exchange student enrolling as an undergrad at the university where Dewan is starting his graduate program. She reveals her background on their first date going to the movies, telling him that she is from Bahrain. But in the beginning things are simple – “…I don’t really care where she is from. What is on my mind is asking her to hide a Pepsi and a pack of Skittles in her purse before the movie and having the opportunity to get to know her better afterwards”.

So the relationship develops and grows, and for a while everything is bliss. But also in this open and liberal setting the latent problems reaches the surface. Haniyah’s brother gets protective and mad, her mom is about to keep her in Bahrain after being back for a summer vacation, Dewan has troubles accepting that Haniyah can never tell her family about their relationship, and then there is the constant struggle with the cultural differences and trying to understand each other’s point of view.

When Haniyah comes back to the States after her first summer break devastated because her mother almost wouldn’t let her leave, Dewan doesn’t get it: “Just do what you want to do. She has her own life, you have your life. I don’t get it”. The typical cultural gap.

But they stay together in spite of the obvious obstacles – but in the end the relationship is ill-fated. I know it is a memoir, so if it happened in this way it can’t be changed, this is what happened. But I still feel a little bit sad about the turn out. The story supports the general assumption that culturally mixed relationships in the end are without happy endings. They always seem to end in breaks. So I am left wondering…

Secret alleys, fish and Arak

Two weeks ago I discovered a little gem in Amman, which I had never seen or heard of before. I went out for dinner with a group of friends and they took me downtown. In a little alley opposite Hashem’s lies a little restaurant called Sara, and according to my company they serve they best fish and seafood in Jordan (and after tasting it I must agree that it was really zaaki).

So the fish was absolutely delicious, but the interesting part was not so much the fish, it was the whole setting. We went in to the restaurant and ordered everything, told them how we wanted each thing prepared and cooked, and then we went out again, crossed the alley and went through a small door and up a set of narrow stairs. And here my first experience at a downtown bar began.

Bars in downtown Amman, the idea never crossed my mind, but come to think of it – of course there must be (and as I learned that night, this was definitely not the only bar in the area). So I learned something new that evening.

We went in – and of course everybody stared really weird at me when I walked in with a group of Jordanian guys -  I guess they don’t see many women there (typical Jordanian “guy-café”). We got a table, we ordered a bunch of salads and things to go with the fish and then of course – the primary reason for being there – ARAK! According to my friends Arak is great to drink with fish (maybe they are right, but my taste buds tells me that Arak does not go well with anything, and should be left alone ). So in it came – 2 bottles of Arak, some water to mix it with (nice Lion’s milk…) and then cheers.

The place was really interesting to observe. Very charming place actually – and without a doubt the best service I have ever received at any restaurant in Jordan. On the walls hung pictures with scenes from old Arabic films and the TV-screens were tuned in to that lovely Arabic channel with the girls in very tight outfits, who are dancing seducing around in a circle (to me known as shar**** style TV). Groups of guys were occupying most of the tables and as the night progressed more and more people came. Old and young, rich and poor, university students, lawyers and taxi drivers. All types of people came to this place. Amazing experience.

So after 4 big plates of fish and seafood, 2 bottles of Arak, a couple of beers and a wonderful night, we snug down the narrow staircases and in to the Ammani night – leaving the restaurant and the dark alley and as we found it – hidden between a bunch of crazy downtown shops with all the things you just can’t live without.

Guy place or not – I am definitely coming back!